Aries motherfucker where is my valentine

Taurus *frantically shoves chocolate into mouth*

Gemini maybe i can pay my friend to pretend to be my date

Cancer ugh, all those cute couples are gross. i'm not jealous, i just don't like seeing people suck face in the halls!

Leo what the hell am i going to do with all these flowers and all this chocolate?

Virgo love is a social construct and i don't need it

Libra OMMMGGGGG I LOVE EVERYONE ! *goes home and cries*

Scorpio i'm a strong, independent woman who don't need no man *sniffles*

Sagittarius why is this a holiday lol. i am my own valentine

Capricorn i am a sad, lonely person. no one loves me. buT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE BITCH I'M TOO GOOD FOR YOU ANYWAY *breaks down crying*

Aquarius wat

Pisces time to buy myself chocolate and pretend it's from my crush

- The Taurus one is perfectly accurate for this Taurus.